When Someone Asks If You’re A God, You Say YES

I love Halloween (and I’d better, considering I just spent more than $100 at iParty).  Don’t you?  A few pumpkin-themed snippets from over the years…

• Being a redhead growing up in the 80s, I always heard that I should dress up as Pebbles Flinstone for Halloween.  So one year, it was on like Donkey Kong (and given the time period, Donkey Kong was probably literally on and being played by someone in my house).  I had a prehistoric lookin’ dress, glued a plastic bone to a hair clip, the whole shebang.  And I still remember a random neighbor looking at me and saying, “Oh!  You’re a…cavewoman!”  Maybe I should’ve crawled?
• I always forgot to ask for pennies to fill the Unicef box that they handed out to us at school, and I always got lectured the next day.  My arguments were never compelling.  I had candy on the brain!  Why would an Ethiopian want my Crunch bars?
• My fifth grade teacher played the movie Watcher in the Woods for the class on Halloween.  Since it was made by Disney, I’m sure she assumed it was harmless enough.  More than twenty years later, I’m still a little traumatized by it.  It’s the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, and I didn’t even see the whole thing.  She ended up having to turn it off halfway through because we were all screaming.  When I was in college, I told my friends this story and they insisted that we rent it on Halloween.  Even I assumed that it would be more funny than scary, but that wasn’t the case.  Only a few made it all the way through, and I wasn’t one of them.
• One time at a Halloween party (in my, ahem, early 20s) I justified hooking up with my friend’s brother for the sole reason that he was dressed as He-Man.
• I only went to Salem on Halloween once.  I was dressed as a witch; I’m nothing if not creative.  The band 98 Degrees was playing on a little stage.  They were new and hadn’t yet made the lasting impression on the landscape of pop music that they have today.  (Give me just one night!  Una noche!)  They were trying to engage a mostly bored audience, and Drew Lachey (I think that’s who it was?) asked me I was a good bad witch or a bad bad witch.  I wanted to play along, but I was so confused by the question that I could only say, “What?”  I wish I’d thought to say, “I’m from the future!  Don’t marry Jessica Simpson!  I mean, tell your brother not to!”
• I once went to a friend’s party dressed as an angel, and later on left my halo in the backseat of a cab.  Doesn’t that sound like a Bob Dylan lyric?

What’s your favorite Halloween memory?

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